Conrad

Conrad Birdie is the main character of the 1960 Broadway musical, Bye Bye Birdie, as well as the 1963 movie of the same name. Inspired by the career of Elvis Presley being interrupted when he was drafted into the Army in 1957, it seems an anomalous throwback to a sweeter and more innocent time. As the teen idol prepares to go off to the Army, a contest is held to award Conrad’s going away “last kiss” to a high school girl while on the Ed Sullivan Show. The adults rue the fact that kids dance and make noise, the high school boy is upset that his girlfriend who wins the contest is actually going to kiss Conrad, the overbearing mother doesn’t want her thirty-something son to marry, and when the girlfriend objects, the Mama’s boy sings “Put on a Happy Face”. All of that is innocent enough, for sure, but here are the parts of the movie that we really find hilarious: The fifteen-year old high-school girl is played by Ann-Margret, who was much closer to twenty-five at the time. Her boyfriend is played by Bobby Rydell, who got married for the first time at age sixty-seven. Her father is played by Paul Lynde, who was quite explicit throughout his lifetime about which team he played on. Dick Van Dyke, playing a songwriter, was born in the same year as the actress, Maureen Stapleton, who plays his mother. Van Dyke’s girlfriend, supposedly a Latina, is played by Janet Leigh. Ed Sullivan plays himself, and he was exactly like that. Now all that is funny! Ah, well, we still like the name Conrad!

Conrad is a minor character in William Shakespeare’s comedy of 1598/99, Much Ado About Nothing, but his actions are pivotal to the thrust of the plot. Conrad is a gentlemanly fellow, a comrade of Borachio and one of Don John’s followers. Don John, the illegitimate brother of Don Pedro, and malevolently jealous of his brother, is determined to thwart the chances for love of Claudio and Hero. Our Conrad is loyal and eager to serve his master’s wishes, and abets Borachio in his efforts to make Hero seem as if she is unfaithful to Claudio. Naturally, the plan works at first and poor Hero is castigated, but as we all know, Mr. S. likes to end many comedies with weddings. So – Hero is exonerated and she and Claudio marry. Conrad, along with Borachio, is apprehended by the Watchman, arrested and made to confess, while their mentor, Don John, is captured while fleeing. Such is the price of loyalty to the wrong side – alas, poor Conrad.