Historic Figures
WITH THE NAME KING
David is, according to the Bible, the second King of Israel, of the line of ancestry from which Jesus, the Messiah, was prophesized to have come. Almost as importantly, he is revered as both a warrior and a poet, credited with many of the Psalms (“The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not wantâ€). David also played the harp exquisitely enough to soothe King Saul’s misadventures with evil spirits. And he is known as the man who slew the Philistine giant, Goliath, with the clever use of a slingshot. For all this goodness, David is richly rewarded – he is named commander of the armies and is offered Saul’s daughter in marriage. But, having gained so much popularity with the people now makes him the object of Saul’s envy and distrust. He plots to kill David, but Saul’s own son, Jonathan, warns David and helps him to flee. When both Saul and Jonathan are killed in battle, David becomes king. He restores the Ark of the Covenant to the people and establishes Jerusalem as the center of Israel. All is not holy among David’s deeds, however. Lusting after Bathsheba, he impregnates her and has her husband, Uriah, killed in battle. God’s punishment is severe – the child of David and Bathsheba is made to sicken and die. David has much trouble with many of his sons – his son, Absalom, rebels against his father and causes a civil war; Absalom also dies. David truly repents his sins and asks forgiveness of God. And God does forgive him. David lives long and rules well and dies in the virtue of his years. The next child of David and Bathsheba is Solomon, who continues the line of divinely appointed kings of Israel and who will erect the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.
Brian Boru was born Brian Mac Cennétig in Ireland around 941. He was perhaps the greatest military leader Ireland has ever known and his life deeds were legendary. In 978 he led his warriors to victory and took the kingship of all of Munster. Rulers of other provinces took note and worried he might want more territory. Brian did not back down and eventually took over most of the southern half of Ireland. Not content to stop there, Brian went about northern Ireland reinforcing his claim to it. The problem with building an empire is that you can’t watch your old territories when you’re going about conquering new ones. Eventually Dublin and Leinster rebelled which culminated into the Battle of Clontarf. Brian’s army still won, but Brian himself died. He earned his name as 'Brian of the Tributes' (Brian Boru) by collecting tributes from the minor rulers of Ireland and using the money to restore monasteries and libraries that had been destroyed during the invasions.
Brian Boru was born Brian Mac Cennétig in Ireland around 941. He was perhaps the greatest military leader Ireland has ever known and his life deeds were legendary. In 978 he led his warriors to victory and took the kingship of all of Munster. Rulers of other provinces took note and worried he might want more territory. Brian did not back down and eventually took over most of the southern half of Ireland. Not content to stop there, Brian went about northern Ireland reinforcing his claim to it. The problem with building an empire is that you can’t watch your old territories when you’re going about conquering new ones. Eventually Dublin and Leinster rebelled which culminated into the Battle of Clontarf. Brian’s army still won, but Brian himself died. He earned his name as 'Brian of the Tributes' (Brian Boru) by collecting tributes from the minor rulers of Ireland and using the money to restore monasteries and libraries that had been destroyed during the invasions.
Known also as Henry of Bolingbroke, Henry IV ascended to the throne after his cousin Richard II was deposed (this Henry was the grandson of Edward III). He immediately had to deal with rebellions by both the Welsh and those closer to home and his reign was riddled with plots against him. There’s nothing too notable about Henry IV other than his participations in the on-going Crusades and the War of the Roses, but really didn’t accomplish much. He was also the first native English-speaking king (his predecessors had spoken French).
King Henry V was the son of Henry IV and ascended the throne upon his father’s death. He is known as one of the greatest of all English monarchs and a bane to the French existence. First, Henry V successfully seized the northwest French post, Harfluer. It was an uneven battle and so a massive victory, as the French outnumbered the English by thousands. It was a heady victory for the young king who was met with much fanfare after returning to London. He wasn’t done yet, though. In 1420, he returned to capture Normandy which resulted in the signing of the Treaty of Troyes, naming Henry the heir to the French throne. He celebrated by marrying the daughter of the then-King of France, Charles VI. Her name was Catherine, and she would bear Henry, a son soon to become King Henry VI (and soon to undo his father’s fine work). Henry V’s life was cut short in his mid-30s (struck down by dysentery).
Henry VI not only ascended to the English throne at the age of nine-months, but at the ripe old age of one, he also was king of France. Too young, his uncles would serve as regents and more royal family members would crawl out from the woodwork with their greed for power. About the only good that came out of this naive king’s reign was a passion for education and building (Eton College and King’s College were erected during his time). Turns out, Henry VI’s biggest problem would be a French peasant girl by the name of Joan of Arc. According to her story, which she shared with the Dauphin of France, the voices of the Saints Michael, Catherine and Margaret told her that she alone could drive the English out of France. We can just imagine that the poor, hapless Dauphin unable to motivate the French people himself, responded with a resounding “Sweet, dude. Go for it!†So little Joanie throws on her amour, jumps on her white horse, and heads for Orleans. Her zealous faith in the “Lord’s wishes†and her firm belief in her own purpose must have rubbed off on the people who joined her one-person uprising, because the English would eventually exit stage left. (For more on Joan, see the name Joan). The English and the French are still amidst the 100 Years’ War, but we are nearing the end now. Henry VI mad a terrible mistake by not taking France’s offer of Normandy and Aquitaine if they would just get the hell out, because the French would eventually recapture all of their land back. Of course, this was not Henry’s only problem. Back at home, he wasn’t so popular, particularly given the miserable losses to the French. Enter Richard of York (Henry’s cousin) who was seen as an arguably more legitimate heir to the throne than the current king, fast-forward to The War of Roses, in which two distinct lineages fight over the monarchy for the next 30 years. They brought new meaning to the term dysfunction families. And their battles with one another were seriously violent. Henry VI would ultimately be captured and killed, and the Duke of York’s son would become King Edward IV of England, thus transferring the monarchy to a new House (Lancastrians to the Yorks).
The War of the Roses came in with a Henry, and it went out with a Henry. Henry VII waged the last and final battle of this war when he overthrew King Richard III in 1485 and became the first monarch from the House of Tudor (which turned out to be a long-lasting dynasty). Henry VII was the cool-headed, able king who ushered England into the modern era. Although he was a Lancastrian, he was so by illegitimate descent through King John. He united the Yorks with the Lancasters by marrying Edward IV’s daughter, Elizabeth – so now everyone is neatly together under the new House of Tudor, by a little stretch of the imagination. Still, Henry VII was a fine ruler, although not beloved by the people (he kept his distance from the common man). Under Henry VII, the English government came to be more stabilized and centralized and he died leaving a peaceful and prosperous England to his incurable pleasure-seeking, tyrannically arrogant, hot-headed son, none other than the legendary King Henry VIII.
It will be difficult to summarize this one, so we’ll try and stick to the key facts, and the interesting parts. He became king at the age of 17 after his father died. He loved all forms of leisure and pleasure (hunting, food, wine, music, poetry), but most of all, he liked the ladies (he holds the record for royal marriages). His first wife, Catherine of Aragon, gave birth eight times but produced only one surviving daughter (Mary). Intent on a male heir, Henry VIII decided he needed a new wife. All he needed was the pope to grant him an annulment; only problem was that the Holy Roman Emperor was Catherine’s nephew and she had no intentions of letting this happen. The pope, in turn, could not risk upsetting Rome’s ruler, so the pope did nothing. Furious, Henry VIII severed all connections with the Catholic Church of Rome, had an English Archbishop grant his annulment, and married Anne Boleyn (mother to the future Queen Elizabeth I of England). Well, the pope was having none of that and turned right around and excommunicated the king. What did Henry get for all of his troubles? Another daughter [it’s hard not to laugh at this point]. Stubborn Henry then makes himself “Supreme Head†of the Church of England and goes around beheading any dissenters (you’ll notice his penchant for beheading people a little later). “My way or the highway†best sums up this man’s reign. Back to Anne who wasn’t able to produce a son. Henry, frustrated and tired with poor Anne, moves onto her lady-in-waiting, Jane Seymour (he has Anne beheaded on trumped up charges of treason for…get this…unfaithfulness). Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black! Good ole Jane manages to capture one of those Y chromosomes and gives birth to a son, much to Henry’s delight (but she dies 12 days later from complications). Next, enter: Anne of Cleves, a marriage that was prearranged. When they finally meet for the first time in person, the disappointment is mutual. Anne was reportedly plain, boring and acne-scarred. Henry was no Don Juan himself at this point in his life, grossly overweight and generally nasty. He had that one annulled seven months later, and those he could find to blame for the disastrous pairing were promptly beheaded. Anne of Cleves got to keep her head, and Henry did pay spousal support. After Anne of Cleves came Catherine Howard, a beautiful 18 year old (to Henry’s 49). Enamored with the young sprite at first, Henry wasted no time demanding “Off with her head!†when he learned of her extramarital affairs. Last but not least, we have Catherine Parr (the man liked the name Catherine, apparently). She, too, was young (31), but married the fat old king more from a sense of duty than an aspiring interest in social status and wealth, and she was good to him. She was the one that was there to the end, and he named her Regent before dying at the age of 55. Detestable in so many ways, you have to admit, Henry VIII was one colorful character.
King Henry I was the fourth son of William the Conqueror and the only one to be born in England. Henry succeeded his brother William II as King of England after William’s suspicious death during a hunting trip with his brother, um, Henry (convenient is a word that comes to mind). Henry had to then fight another older brother, Robert, for the throne which ultimately leads to Robert’s imprisonment. After securing his place on the throne, Henry went onto marry a Scot (Edith who would later be renamed Matilda), who was the great-granddaughter of Edward the Confessor, thus placating both the Scots and the Saxons. Henry received two nicknames during his reign “Beauclerc†(which is French for ‘fine scholar’) given his studious nature, and “The Lion of Justice†given his judicial reforms which established a balance for the Anglo-Norman traditions of his kingdom. For the most part, Henry reined during a period of peace and prosperity. He did leave one problem, though: Matilda only gave him two children: William and Matilda, Jr. The heir-apparent, William, died at the age of 17 in an unfortunate drowning accident, and Papa Henry was not too keen on his daughter ascending the throne. He married again (Matilda, Sr. had since died) in an effort to produce another male heir, but was unsuccessful. The throne eventually went to his nephew, Stephen. That would turn out to be a mistake because Matilda Jr. was one fiery bitch.
Henry II was Matilda, Jr.’s son and raised in France until the age of nine, returning with his mother to England in her effort to reclaim the throne. She never quite managed the coup for herself, but Henry II would ascend through her lineage upon Stephen’s death. Henry II had a few things going for him from the English perspective. He was the grandson of Henry I who had done a lot to integrate the Norman-Anglo ways into a fairly stable atmosphere, he was Scottish by way of his maternal lines, and he truly was the rightful heir to the throne. But he also had one glaring problem: his wife Eleanor. She was one tempestuous shrew. Eleanor actively plotted with their sons (Henry, Richard and Geoffrey) to rebel against their father, and she encouraged invasions by the kings of Scotland and France. Such a nuisance was she that Henry II would eventually place her under house-arrest for 15 years. Henry II was a man of reason and intellect like his grandfather and is notable for creating Common Law in England. Only problem was that Henry expected to extend these royal judicial oversights onto the Church. Big mistake. Big, big mistake. Henry appointed Thomas Becket as Archbishop of Canterbury, believing him to have like-minded ideals of exposing the judicial abuses rampant in the Church. What he didn’t expect is that Becket would about-face and side with the Church. Becket went into exile upon hearing the king’s intention to try him for contempt. When Becket returned to England six years later, Henry II screamed (probably rhetorically), “Will someone rid me of this turbulent priest?†Someone took him seriously, because a couple of his knights would go and kill Becket on (gasp) the alter during Church service (thereby martyring him). Needless to say, this event didn’t exactly serve to popularize the King among his people, and he was henceforth publically shamed (forced to walk barefoot through Canterbury, arrive at Becket’s tomb, beg for pardon, and receive a lashing). Not too dignified for a King, huh? His sons Richard I and then John I would succeed him in that order.
King Henry III was John I’s son and Henry II’s grandson. He inherited the throne from his father at the age of nine during another one of those pesky Civil Wars the English like so much (thanks, Dad). Not only was he an ineffective ruler, but he went through money like water after several unsuccessful invasions into Wales and France, and prompted rebellions among the barons (who forced him to limit his powers by signing the “Provisions of Oxfordâ€). The first Parliament (or so considered) convened during his reign, in reaction to this repudiating king. The Baron’s War would ensue leading to the king’s capture and his ultimate escape from captivity orchestrated by his son, Edward, who would eventually succeed his hapless father.
Known also as Henry of Bolingbroke, Henry IV ascended to the throne after his cousin Richard II was deposed (this Henry was the grandson of Edward III). He immediately had to deal with rebellions by both the Welsh and those closer to home and his reign was riddled with plots against him. There’s nothing too notable about Henry IV other than his participations in the on-going Crusades and the War of the Roses, but really didn’t accomplish much. He was also the first native English-speaking king (his predecessors had spoken French).
King Henry V was the son of Henry IV and ascended the throne upon his father’s death. He is known as one of the greatest of all English monarchs and a bane to the French existence. First, Henry V successfully seized the northwest French post, Harfluer. It was an uneven battle and so a massive victory, as the French outnumbered the English by thousands. It was a heady victory for the young king who was met with much fanfare after returning to London. He wasn’t done yet, though. In 1420, he returned to capture Normandy which resulted in the signing of the Treaty of Troyes, naming Henry the heir to the French throne. He celebrated by marrying the daughter of the then-King of France, Charles VI. Her name was Catherine, and she would bear Henry, a son soon to become King Henry VI (and soon to undo his father’s fine work). Henry V’s life was cut short in his mid-30s (struck down by dysentery).
Henry VI not only ascended to the English throne at the age of nine-months, but at the ripe old age of one, he also was king of France. Too young, his uncles would serve as regents and more royal family members would crawl out from the woodwork with their greed for power. About the only good that came out of this naive king’s reign was a passion for education and building (Eton College and King’s College were erected during his time). Turns out, Henry VI’s biggest problem would be a French peasant girl by the name of Joan of Arc. According to her story, which she shared with the Dauphin of France, the voices of the Saints Michael, Catherine and Margaret told her that she alone could drive the English out of France. We can just imagine that the poor, hapless Dauphin unable to motivate the French people himself, responded with a resounding “Sweet, dude. Go for it!†So little Joanie throws on her amour, jumps on her white horse, and heads for Orleans. Her zealous faith in the “Lord’s wishes†and her firm belief in her own purpose must have rubbed off on the people who joined her one-person uprising, because the English would eventually exit stage left. (For more on Joan, see the name Joan). The English and the French are still amidst the 100 Years’ War, but we are nearing the end now. Henry VI mad a terrible mistake by not taking France’s offer of Normandy and Aquitaine if they would just get the hell out, because the French would eventually recapture all of their land back. Of course, this was not Henry’s only problem. Back at home, he wasn’t so popular, particularly given the miserable losses to the French. Enter Richard of York (Henry’s cousin) who was seen as an arguably more legitimate heir to the throne than the current king, fast-forward to The War of Roses, in which two distinct lineages fight over the monarchy for the next 30 years. They brought new meaning to the term dysfunction families. And their battles with one another were seriously violent. Henry VI would ultimately be captured and killed, and the Duke of York’s son would become King Edward IV of England, thus transferring the monarchy to a new House (Lancastrians to the Yorks).
The War of the Roses came in with a Henry, and it went out with a Henry. Henry VII waged the last and final battle of this war when he overthrew King Richard III in 1485 and became the first monarch from the House of Tudor (which turned out to be a long-lasting dynasty). Henry VII was the cool-headed, able king who ushered England into the modern era. Although he was a Lancastrian, he was so by illegitimate descent through King John. He united the Yorks with the Lancasters by marrying Edward IV’s daughter, Elizabeth – so now everyone is neatly together under the new House of Tudor, by a little stretch of the imagination. Still, Henry VII was a fine ruler, although not beloved by the people (he kept his distance from the common man). Under Henry VII, the English government came to be more stabilized and centralized and he died leaving a peaceful and prosperous England to his incurable pleasure-seeking, tyrannically arrogant, hot-headed son, none other than the legendary King Henry VIII.
It will be difficult to summarize this one, so we’ll try and stick to the key facts, and the interesting parts. He became king at the age of 17 after his father died. He loved all forms of leisure and pleasure (hunting, food, wine, music, poetry), but most of all, he liked the ladies (he holds the record for royal marriages). His first wife, Catherine of Aragon, gave birth eight times but produced only one surviving daughter (Mary). Intent on a male heir, Henry VIII decided he needed a new wife. All he needed was the pope to grant him an annulment; only problem was that the Holy Roman Emperor was Catherine’s nephew and she had no intentions of letting this happen. The pope, in turn, could not risk upsetting Rome’s ruler, so the pope did nothing. Furious, Henry VIII severed all connections with the Catholic Church of Rome, had an English Archbishop grant his annulment, and married Anne Boleyn (mother to the future Queen Elizabeth I of England). Well, the pope was having none of that and turned right around and excommunicated the king. What did Henry get for all of his troubles? Another daughter [it’s hard not to laugh at this point]. Stubborn Henry then makes himself “Supreme Head†of the Church of England and goes around beheading any dissenters (you’ll notice his penchant for beheading people a little later). “My way or the highway†best sums up this man’s reign. Back to Anne who wasn’t able to produce a son. Henry, frustrated and tired with poor Anne, moves onto her lady-in-waiting, Jane Seymour (he has Anne beheaded on trumped up charges of treason for…get this…unfaithfulness). Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black! Good ole Jane manages to capture one of those Y chromosomes and gives birth to a son, much to Henry’s delight (but she dies 12 days later from complications). Next, enter: Anne of Cleves, a marriage that was prearranged. When they finally meet for the first time in person, the disappointment is mutual. Anne was reportedly plain, boring and acne-scarred. Henry was no Don Juan himself at this point in his life, grossly overweight and generally nasty. He had that one annulled seven months later, and those he could find to blame for the disastrous pairing were promptly beheaded. Anne of Cleves got to keep her head, and Henry did pay spousal support. After Anne of Cleves came Catherine Howard, a beautiful 18 year old (to Henry’s 49). Enamored with the young sprite at first, Henry wasted no time demanding “Off with her head!†when he learned of her extramarital affairs. Last but not least, we have Catherine Parr (the man liked the name Catherine, apparently). She, too, was young (31), but married the fat old king more from a sense of duty than an aspiring interest in social status and wealth, and she was good to him. She was the one that was there to the end, and he named her Regent before dying at the age of 55. Detestable in so many ways, you have to admit, Henry VIII was one colorful character.
King Henry I was the fourth son of William the Conqueror and the only one to be born in England. Henry succeeded his brother William II as King of England after William’s suspicious death during a hunting trip with his brother, um, Henry (convenient is a word that comes to mind). Henry had to then fight another older brother, Robert, for the throne which ultimately leads to Robert’s imprisonment. After securing his place on the throne, Henry went onto marry a Scot (Edith who would later be renamed Matilda), who was the great-granddaughter of Edward the Confessor, thus placating both the Scots and the Saxons. Henry received two nicknames during his reign “Beauclerc†(which is French for ‘fine scholar’) given his studious nature, and “The Lion of Justice†given his judicial reforms which established a balance for the Anglo-Norman traditions of his kingdom. For the most part, Henry reined during a period of peace and prosperity. He did leave one problem, though: Matilda only gave him two children: William and Matilda, Jr. The heir-apparent, William, died at the age of 17 in an unfortunate drowning accident, and Papa Henry was not too keen on his daughter ascending the throne. He married again (Matilda, Sr. had since died) in an effort to produce another male heir, but was unsuccessful. The throne eventually went to his nephew, Stephen. That would turn out to be a mistake because Matilda Jr. was one fiery bitch.
Henry II was Matilda, Jr.’s son and raised in France until the age of nine, returning with his mother to England in her effort to reclaim the throne. She never quite managed the coup for herself, but Henry II would ascend through her lineage upon Stephen’s death. Henry II had a few things going for him from the English perspective. He was the grandson of Henry I who had done a lot to integrate the Norman-Anglo ways into a fairly stable atmosphere, he was Scottish by way of his maternal lines, and he truly was the rightful heir to the throne. But he also had one glaring problem: his wife Eleanor. She was one tempestuous shrew. Eleanor actively plotted with their sons (Henry, Richard and Geoffrey) to rebel against their father, and she encouraged invasions by the kings of Scotland and France. Such a nuisance was she that Henry II would eventually place her under house-arrest for 15 years. Henry II was a man of reason and intellect like his grandfather and is notable for creating Common Law in England. Only problem was that Henry expected to extend these royal judicial oversights onto the Church. Big mistake. Big, big mistake. Henry appointed Thomas Becket as Archbishop of Canterbury, believing him to have like-minded ideals of exposing the judicial abuses rampant in the Church. What he didn’t expect is that Becket would about-face and side with the Church. Becket went into exile upon hearing the king’s intention to try him for contempt. When Becket returned to England six years later, Henry II screamed (probably rhetorically), “Will someone rid me of this turbulent priest?†Someone took him seriously, because a couple of his knights would go and kill Becket on (gasp) the alter during Church service (thereby martyring him). Needless to say, this event didn’t exactly serve to popularize the King among his people, and he was henceforth publically shamed (forced to walk barefoot through Canterbury, arrive at Becket’s tomb, beg for pardon, and receive a lashing). Not too dignified for a King, huh? His sons Richard I and then John I would succeed him in that order.
King Henry III was John I’s son and Henry II’s grandson. He inherited the throne from his father at the age of nine during another one of those pesky Civil Wars the English like so much (thanks, Dad). Not only was he an ineffective ruler, but he went through money like water after several unsuccessful invasions into Wales and France, and prompted rebellions among the barons (who forced him to limit his powers by signing the “Provisions of Oxfordâ€). The first Parliament (or so considered) convened during his reign, in reaction to this repudiating king. The Baron’s War would ensue leading to the king’s capture and his ultimate escape from captivity orchestrated by his son, Edward, who would eventually succeed his hapless father.
When Queen Elizabeth I of England died in 1603, she had one last trick up her sleeve. She bequeathed the throne to her first-cousin-once-removed, James VI of Scotland (who also happened to be the son of Elizabeth’s nuisance of a cousin, Mary Queen of Scots). This also transferred the royal power from the House of Tudor to the House of Stuart. James I reign is notable for a few things. First of all, he felt it was his “divine†right to rule with absolute power and therefore basically ignored Parliament until he needed them to help support his lavish lifestyle. Secondly, he didn’t quite know how to placate the religious issues pervasive throughout England (Elizabeth I had reinstated the Church of England to the Protestant faith) and yet all of Europe was predominately Catholic (so were many of the English for that matter). Complicating matters, the Puritans were an ever-growing sect of the Protestants and were demanding the eradication of all remnants of Catholic practices still permeating the church services. James basically told the Puritans to get lost (and they did, by sailing to America on the Mayflower in 1620). Despite his lack of diplomacy and insensitivities to religious matters, the publication of the King James Version of the Bible in 1611 was met with extensive approval. Another piece of history important to know about James I is that he was the ruling king when Guy Fawkes attempted to blow up Parliament and the king, intending to “blow the Scots back to Scotland.†That effort failed, but the British still “Remember, remember the 5th of November!†(1605 that is). James I died at the age of 58, and despite his relatively lackluster reign, he still had the affection of the people. His son, Charles I would inherit the throne.
James the II of England was the grandson of James I, the son of Charles I and the brother of Charles II (see the name Charles for more information on their reigns). In a nut shell, Charles I inherited the throne (from James I) and was eventually executed after Oliver Cromwell became “Lord Protector†of England and stamped out the monarchy for 11 years. After Cromwell’s death, Charles I’s son, Charles II, would return from European exile to re-establish the monarchy with the support of the English people. Charles II became known as the “Merry Monarch†due to his pursuits of pleasure (he was also a closeted Catholic, and converted to Catholicism on his deathbed), but he also knew how to play politics and keep the peace. His brother, the openly Catholic James II, would ascend the throne much to the chagrin of Parliament and the English people who predominantly did not want to return to Catholicism. So James II was immediately faced with overthrow attempts and his over-zealous defense did nothing to gain further support. Fortunately, for his detractors, James II’s first wife was Protestant, so his Protestant daughter Mary was recognized as the preferred heir along with her also-Protestant Dutch husband, William of Orange. The “Glorious Revolution†of 1688 ensued and James II was forced to abdicate or lose his life. His reign lasted a little more than three years.
When Queen Elizabeth I of England died in 1603, she had one last trick up her sleeve. She bequeathed the throne to her first-cousin-once-removed, James VI of Scotland (who also happened to be the son of Elizabeth’s nuisance of a cousin, Mary Queen of Scots). This also transferred the royal power from the House of Tudor to the House of Stuart. James I reign is notable for a few things. First of all, he felt it was his “divine†right to rule with absolute power and therefore basically ignored Parliament until he needed them to help support his lavish lifestyle. Secondly, he didn’t quite know how to placate the religious issues pervasive throughout England (Elizabeth I had reinstated the Church of England to the Protestant faith) and yet all of Europe was predominately Catholic (so were many of the English for that matter). Complicating matters, the Puritans were an ever-growing sect of the Protestants and were demanding the eradication of all remnants of Catholic practices still permeating the church services. James basically told the Puritans to get lost (and they did, by sailing to America on the Mayflower in 1620). Despite his lack of diplomacy and insensitivities to religious matters, the publication of the King James Version of the Bible in 1611 was met with extensive approval. Another piece of history important to know about James I is that he was the ruling king when Guy Fawkes attempted to blow up Parliament and the king, intending to “blow the Scots back to Scotland.†That effort failed, but the British still “Remember, remember the 5th of November!†(1605 that is). James I died at the age of 58, and despite his relatively lackluster reign, he still had the affection of the people. His son, Charles I would inherit the throne.
James the II of England was the grandson of James I, the son of Charles I and the brother of Charles II (see the name Charles for more information on their reigns). In a nut shell, Charles I inherited the throne (from James I) and was eventually executed after Oliver Cromwell became “Lord Protector†of England and stamped out the monarchy for 11 years. After Cromwell’s death, Charles I’s son, Charles II, would return from European exile to re-establish the monarchy with the support of the English people. Charles II became known as the “Merry Monarch†due to his pursuits of pleasure (he was also a closeted Catholic, and converted to Catholicism on his deathbed), but he also knew how to play politics and keep the peace. His brother, the openly Catholic James II, would ascend the throne much to the chagrin of Parliament and the English people who predominantly did not want to return to Catholicism. So James II was immediately faced with overthrow attempts and his over-zealous defense did nothing to gain further support. Fortunately, for his detractors, James II’s first wife was Protestant, so his Protestant daughter Mary was recognized as the preferred heir along with her also-Protestant Dutch husband, William of Orange. The “Glorious Revolution†of 1688 ensued and James II was forced to abdicate or lose his life. His reign lasted a little more than three years.
We gave you the main points on Solomon above. He was Israel’s third king; the son of David; loved by God; given power, wealth and wisdom; reigned during the “Golden Age†of Israel; built Jerusalem’s first Temple; yadda yadda, yadda. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows for King Solomon. He had 700 wives and princesses and 300 mistresses. That’s 1,000 women he loved (no wonder the ‘Song of Song’s’ was written either for him or by him). As God suspected would happen, many of Solomon’s foreign wives and concubines influenced him with the ways of their own pagan religious beliefs. Eventually, Solomon turned away from God, but because God loved Solomon’s father David so much, He let Solomon finish his 40 year reign and die honorably without punishment. Still, some of Solomon’s political policies had some not-so-great consequences. He alienated the Northern Tribes through forced labor and heavy taxation; he diminished some of their religious influence; and he sells some of their towns to the Phoenician king. This all would set the stage for the subsequent division of Israel when the northern tribes secede from the union.
King Mark of Cornwall was a king of that region in the early 6th century, but his name is most famous in Arthurian legend as the uncle of Tristan and husband of Isolde. Mark was betrothed to Isolde of Ireland in one of those politically correct marriages so popular at the time, and he sent his nephew, Tristan, to escort her back to Cornwall. You know the drill, boys and girls. Boy meets girl; boy falls in love with girl; boy cheats on uncle with girl. Oh, sure, there is a love potion or two figuring in this plot, but there are also two attractive young people on a journey together. Even after the marriage of Mark and Isolde, the affair continued. Some strong potion. So King Mark finds out and – who can blame him? – banishes Tristan from the kingdom. Tristan goes off and marries a girl called Iseult of Brittany, presumably because she had such a similar name. One little twist – he fails to consummate the marriage because of his great love for the spelling of Isolde. As legend tells us, Tristan and Isolde die in a Romeo-and-Juliet type of setup (helped along by the badly spelled Iseult). And King Mark married again. That’s really all we need to know for our purposes here, because Mark’s own end wasn’t so pleasant, either.
When Queen Elizabeth I of England died in 1603, she had one last trick up her sleeve. She bequeathed the throne to her first-cousin-once-removed, James VI of Scotland (who also happened to be the son of Elizabeth’s nuisance of a cousin, Mary Queen of Scots). This also transferred the royal power from the House of Tudor to the House of Stuart. James I reign is notable for a few things. First of all, he felt it was his “divine†right to rule with absolute power and therefore basically ignored Parliament until he needed them to help support his lavish lifestyle. Secondly, he didn’t quite know how to placate the religious issues pervasive throughout England (Elizabeth I had reinstated the Church of England to the Protestant faith) and yet all of Europe was predominately Catholic (so were many of the English for that matter). Complicating matters, the Puritans were an ever-growing sect of the Protestants and were demanding the eradication of all remnants of Catholic practices still permeating the church services. James basically told the Puritans to get lost (and they did, by sailing to America on the Mayflower in 1620). Despite his lack of diplomacy and insensitivities to religious matters, the publication of the King James Version of the Bible in 1611 was met with extensive approval. Another piece of history important to know about James I is that he was the ruling king when Guy Fawkes attempted to blow up Parliament and the king, intending to “blow the Scots back to Scotland.†That effort failed, but the British still “Remember, remember the 5th of November!†(1605 that is). James I died at the age of 58, and despite his relatively lackluster reign, he still had the affection of the people. His son, Charles I would inherit the throne.
James the II of England was the grandson of James I, the son of Charles I and the brother of Charles II (see the name Charles for more information on their reigns). In a nut shell, Charles I inherited the throne (from James I) and was eventually executed after Oliver Cromwell became “Lord Protector†of England and stamped out the monarchy for 11 years. After Cromwell’s death, Charles I’s son, Charles II, would return from European exile to re-establish the monarchy with the support of the English people. Charles II became known as the “Merry Monarch†due to his pursuits of pleasure (he was also a closeted Catholic, and converted to Catholicism on his deathbed), but he also knew how to play politics and keep the peace. His brother, the openly Catholic James II, would ascend the throne much to the chagrin of Parliament and the English people who predominantly did not want to return to Catholicism. So James II was immediately faced with overthrow attempts and his over-zealous defense did nothing to gain further support. Fortunately, for his detractors, James II’s first wife was Protestant, so his Protestant daughter Mary was recognized as the preferred heir along with her also-Protestant Dutch husband, William of Orange. The “Glorious Revolution†of 1688 ensued and James II was forced to abdicate or lose his life. His reign lasted a little more than three years.
King Henry I was the fourth son of William the Conqueror and the only one to be born in England. Henry succeeded his brother William II as King of England after William’s suspicious death during a hunting trip with his brother, um, Henry (convenient is a word that comes to mind). Henry had to then fight another older brother, Robert, for the throne which ultimately leads to Robert’s imprisonment. After securing his place on the throne, Henry went onto marry a Scot (Edith who would later be renamed Matilda), who was the great-granddaughter of Edward the Confessor, thus placating both the Scots and the Saxons. Henry received two nicknames during his reign “Beauclerc†(which is French for ‘fine scholar’) given his studious nature, and “The Lion of Justice†given his judicial reforms which established a balance for the Anglo-Norman traditions of his kingdom. For the most part, Henry reined during a period of peace and prosperity. He did leave one problem, though: Matilda only gave him two children: William and Matilda, Jr. The heir-apparent, William, died at the age of 17 in an unfortunate drowning accident, and Papa Henry was not too keen on his daughter ascending the throne. He married again (Matilda, Sr. had since died) in an effort to produce another male heir, but was unsuccessful. The throne eventually went to his nephew, Stephen. That would turn out to be a mistake because Matilda Jr. was one fiery bitch.
Henry II was Matilda, Jr.’s son and raised in France until the age of nine, returning with his mother to England in her effort to reclaim the throne. She never quite managed the coup for herself, but Henry II would ascend through her lineage upon Stephen’s death. Henry II had a few things going for him from the English perspective. He was the grandson of Henry I who had done a lot to integrate the Norman-Anglo ways into a fairly stable atmosphere, he was Scottish by way of his maternal lines, and he truly was the rightful heir to the throne. But he also had one glaring problem: his wife Eleanor. She was one tempestuous shrew. Eleanor actively plotted with their sons (Henry, Richard and Geoffrey) to rebel against their father, and she encouraged invasions by the kings of Scotland and France. Such a nuisance was she that Henry II would eventually place her under house-arrest for 15 years. Henry II was a man of reason and intellect like his grandfather and is notable for creating Common Law in England. Only problem was that Henry expected to extend these royal judicial oversights onto the Church. Big mistake. Big, big mistake. Henry appointed Thomas Becket as Archbishop of Canterbury, believing him to have like-minded ideals of exposing the judicial abuses rampant in the Church. What he didn’t expect is that Becket would about-face and side with the Church. Becket went into exile upon hearing the king’s intention to try him for contempt. When Becket returned to England six years later, Henry II screamed (probably rhetorically), “Will someone rid me of this turbulent priest?†Someone took him seriously, because a couple of his knights would go and kill Becket on (gasp) the alter during Church service (thereby martyring him). Needless to say, this event didn’t exactly serve to popularize the King among his people, and he was henceforth publically shamed (forced to walk barefoot through Canterbury, arrive at Becket’s tomb, beg for pardon, and receive a lashing). Not too dignified for a King, huh? His sons Richard I and then John I would succeed him in that order.
King Henry III was John I’s son and Henry II’s grandson. He inherited the throne from his father at the age of nine during another one of those pesky Civil Wars the English like so much (thanks, Dad). Not only was he an ineffective ruler, but he went through money like water after several unsuccessful invasions into Wales and France, and prompted rebellions among the barons (who forced him to limit his powers by signing the “Provisions of Oxfordâ€). The first Parliament (or so considered) convened during his reign, in reaction to this repudiating king. The Baron’s War would ensue leading to the king’s capture and his ultimate escape from captivity orchestrated by his son, Edward, who would eventually succeed his hapless father.
Known also as Henry of Bolingbroke, Henry IV ascended to the throne after his cousin Richard II was deposed (this Henry was the grandson of Edward III). He immediately had to deal with rebellions by both the Welsh and those closer to home and his reign was riddled with plots against him. There’s nothing too notable about Henry IV other than his participations in the on-going Crusades and the War of the Roses, but really didn’t accomplish much. He was also the first native English-speaking king (his predecessors had spoken French).
King Henry V was the son of Henry IV and ascended the throne upon his father’s death. He is known as one of the greatest of all English monarchs and a bane to the French existence. First, Henry V successfully seized the northwest French post, Harfluer. It was an uneven battle and so a massive victory, as the French outnumbered the English by thousands. It was a heady victory for the young king who was met with much fanfare after returning to London. He wasn’t done yet, though. In 1420, he returned to capture Normandy which resulted in the signing of the Treaty of Troyes, naming Henry the heir to the French throne. He celebrated by marrying the daughter of the then-King of France, Charles VI. Her name was Catherine, and she would bear Henry, a son soon to become King Henry VI (and soon to undo his father’s fine work). Henry V’s life was cut short in his mid-30s (struck down by dysentery).
Henry VI not only ascended to the English throne at the age of nine-months, but at the ripe old age of one, he also was king of France. Too young, his uncles would serve as regents and more royal family members would crawl out from the woodwork with their greed for power. About the only good that came out of this naive king’s reign was a passion for education and building (Eton College and King’s College were erected during his time). Turns out, Henry VI’s biggest problem would be a French peasant girl by the name of Joan of Arc. According to her story, which she shared with the Dauphin of France, the voices of the Saints Michael, Catherine and Margaret told her that she alone could drive the English out of France. We can just imagine that the poor, hapless Dauphin unable to motivate the French people himself, responded with a resounding “Sweet, dude. Go for it!†So little Joanie throws on her amour, jumps on her white horse, and heads for Orleans. Her zealous faith in the “Lord’s wishes†and her firm belief in her own purpose must have rubbed off on the people who joined her one-person uprising, because the English would eventually exit stage left. (For more on Joan, see the name Joan). The English and the French are still amidst the 100 Years’ War, but we are nearing the end now. Henry VI mad a terrible mistake by not taking France’s offer of Normandy and Aquitaine if they would just get the hell out, because the French would eventually recapture all of their land back. Of course, this was not Henry’s only problem. Back at home, he wasn’t so popular, particularly given the miserable losses to the French. Enter Richard of York (Henry’s cousin) who was seen as an arguably more legitimate heir to the throne than the current king, fast-forward to The War of Roses, in which two distinct lineages fight over the monarchy for the next 30 years. They brought new meaning to the term dysfunction families. And their battles with one another were seriously violent. Henry VI would ultimately be captured and killed, and the Duke of York’s son would become King Edward IV of England, thus transferring the monarchy to a new House (Lancastrians to the Yorks).
The War of the Roses came in with a Henry, and it went out with a Henry. Henry VII waged the last and final battle of this war when he overthrew King Richard III in 1485 and became the first monarch from the House of Tudor (which turned out to be a long-lasting dynasty). Henry VII was the cool-headed, able king who ushered England into the modern era. Although he was a Lancastrian, he was so by illegitimate descent through King John. He united the Yorks with the Lancasters by marrying Edward IV’s daughter, Elizabeth – so now everyone is neatly together under the new House of Tudor, by a little stretch of the imagination. Still, Henry VII was a fine ruler, although not beloved by the people (he kept his distance from the common man). Under Henry VII, the English government came to be more stabilized and centralized and he died leaving a peaceful and prosperous England to his incurable pleasure-seeking, tyrannically arrogant, hot-headed son, none other than the legendary King Henry VIII.
It will be difficult to summarize this one, so we’ll try and stick to the key facts, and the interesting parts. He became king at the age of 17 after his father died. He loved all forms of leisure and pleasure (hunting, food, wine, music, poetry), but most of all, he liked the ladies (he holds the record for royal marriages). His first wife, Catherine of Aragon, gave birth eight times but produced only one surviving daughter (Mary). Intent on a male heir, Henry VIII decided he needed a new wife. All he needed was the pope to grant him an annulment; only problem was that the Holy Roman Emperor was Catherine’s nephew and she had no intentions of letting this happen. The pope, in turn, could not risk upsetting Rome’s ruler, so the pope did nothing. Furious, Henry VIII severed all connections with the Catholic Church of Rome, had an English Archbishop grant his annulment, and married Anne Boleyn (mother to the future Queen Elizabeth I of England). Well, the pope was having none of that and turned right around and excommunicated the king. What did Henry get for all of his troubles? Another daughter [it’s hard not to laugh at this point]. Stubborn Henry then makes himself “Supreme Head†of the Church of England and goes around beheading any dissenters (you’ll notice his penchant for beheading people a little later). “My way or the highway†best sums up this man’s reign. Back to Anne who wasn’t able to produce a son. Henry, frustrated and tired with poor Anne, moves onto her lady-in-waiting, Jane Seymour (he has Anne beheaded on trumped up charges of treason for…get this…unfaithfulness). Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black! Good ole Jane manages to capture one of those Y chromosomes and gives birth to a son, much to Henry’s delight (but she dies 12 days later from complications). Next, enter: Anne of Cleves, a marriage that was prearranged. When they finally meet for the first time in person, the disappointment is mutual. Anne was reportedly plain, boring and acne-scarred. Henry was no Don Juan himself at this point in his life, grossly overweight and generally nasty. He had that one annulled seven months later, and those he could find to blame for the disastrous pairing were promptly beheaded. Anne of Cleves got to keep her head, and Henry did pay spousal support. After Anne of Cleves came Catherine Howard, a beautiful 18 year old (to Henry’s 49). Enamored with the young sprite at first, Henry wasted no time demanding “Off with her head!†when he learned of her extramarital affairs. Last but not least, we have Catherine Parr (the man liked the name Catherine, apparently). She, too, was young (31), but married the fat old king more from a sense of duty than an aspiring interest in social status and wealth, and she was good to him. She was the one that was there to the end, and he named her Regent before dying at the age of 55. Detestable in so many ways, you have to admit, Henry VIII was one colorful character.
Brian Boru was born Brian Mac Cennétig in Ireland around 941. He was perhaps the greatest military leader Ireland has ever known and his life deeds were legendary. In 978 he led his warriors to victory and took the kingship of all of Munster. Rulers of other provinces took note and worried he might want more territory. Brian did not back down and eventually took over most of the southern half of Ireland. Not content to stop there, Brian went about northern Ireland reinforcing his claim to it. The problem with building an empire is that you can’t watch your old territories when you’re going about conquering new ones. Eventually Dublin and Leinster rebelled which culminated into the Battle of Clontarf. Brian’s army still won, but Brian himself died. He earned his name as 'Brian of the Tributes' (Brian Boru) by collecting tributes from the minor rulers of Ireland and used the money to restore monasteries and libraries that had been destroyed during the invasions.
Brian Boru was born Brian Mac Cennétig in Ireland around 941. He was perhaps the greatest military leader Ireland has ever known and his life deeds were legendary. In 978 he led his warriors to victory and took the kingship of all of Munster. Rulers of other provinces took note and worried he might want more territory. Brian did not back down and eventually took over most of the southern half of Ireland. Not content to stop there, Brian went about northern Ireland reinforcing his claim to it. The problem with building an empire is that you can’t watch your old territories when you’re going about conquering new ones. Eventually Dublin and Leinster rebelled which culminated into the Battle of Clontarf. Brian’s army still won, but Brian himself died. He earned his name as 'Brian of the Tributes' (Brian Boru) by collecting tributes from the minor rulers of Ireland and using the money to restore monasteries and libraries that had been destroyed during the invasions.
