Bond girl turned reality TV star Denise Richards is single-mother to two daughters (their father is, of course, the irrepressible and nutty Charlie Sheen). Sam J. Sheen was born March 9, 2004 and Lola Rose Sheen followed on June 1, 2005. In 2011, Richards adopted another girl. This time she let her sisters Sam and Lola choose the name. They picked charming Eloise after the eponymous children’s book character. Darling. Denise gave Eloise the middle name Joni after her own mother.

Crazy-ass Charlie Sheen has been married three times and has five children. His first child was born out of wedlock in 1984 to Sheen’s former high school girlfriend. This daughter is named Cassandra Jade Estevez (Estevez being Sheen’s real last name). Later he had two more daughters with Denise Richards named Sam J. and Lola Rose. His third wife, Brooke Mueller, gave him twin sons named Bob and Max. And by the way, we don’t mean Robert and Maximilian. We mean Bob and Max.

America’s little darling Julia Roberts and her cameraman husband Danny Moder have three children. The fraternal twins Hazel Patricia Moder and Phinnaeus Walter Moder (who is called Finn) were born on November, 28, 2004, and the couple’s second son, Henry Daniel Moder came along in 2007 just prior to Robert’s 40th birthday. Hazel and Henry are names seeing a strong revival right now, but Phinnaeus has never landed a spot on the U.S. popularity charts ever. The name Finn does pretty well, but Phinnaeus is pretty funky and off-beat. But seriously, why not use the more typical spelling of Phineas just to make it slightly easier on the poor kid? (He will have the nuisance of making pronunciation and spelling corrections for the rest of his life). Phineas is a name that shows up in Greek mythology (as an oracle who is blinded by Zeus as punishment for disclosing the future to mankind) as well as in the Bible as the grandson or Aaron (who spears a man and woman Shish-Kabob style for having sex in God’s tent). Honestly. Read it for yourself in Numbers 25:14-18.

Political celebrity Sarah Palin has five children with her fisherman husband Todd. Her sons are called Track (b. 1989) and Trig Paxson Van (b. 2008). Her three middle children are all daughters: Bristol Sheeran Marie (b. 1990), Willow (b. 1994), and Piper (b. 2001). Not only that, but Sarah became a grandmother at the age of 44 when eldest daughter Bristol gave birth to Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston (with then-fiancé Levi Johnston). As Sarah came into the political spotlight she was often asked about her unusual name selections. Track and Trig have never landed a spot on the list of the Top 1000 male names in America (which means these names are rarely, if ever, used), but grandson’s name Tripp showed up on the charts after Bristol’s baby was born (Tripp is still growing in usage). Love her or hate her, the rise of Palin’s fame has directly coincided with improvements in the usage of Bristol, Willow and Piper. We have to admit, we like her female name choices better than her masculine ones.

Nicole Richie and her Good Charlotte front man husband Joel Madden welcomed Harlow Winter Kate Richie Madden into the world on January 11, 2008. The following year, the girl’s name Harlow appeared on the U.S. popularity charts for the first time ever, and it’s showing increased usage each subsequent year. The same cannot be said for “Sparrow” which is the name the couple gave their son in September 2009 (full name: Sparrow James Midnight Madden). Sparrow? Really? Sounds ultra-feminine to us, but at least mom and dad gave him a normal middle name (James) so he can opt for that one in Junior High. Then again, he’ll probably be going to school with kids named Zuma, Pilot, Apple and Banjo. So does it really matter?

Salma Hayek had a big impact on the popularity of the girl’s name Valentina when she named her daughter that on September 21, 2007. Lucky Valentina’s father is French billionaire François-Henri Pinault. About a year and a half after her birth, the baby’s parents finally tied the knot on, you guessed it, Valentine’s Day 2009. Since Valentina was born, the name has greatly improved in usage, although primarily among Hispanic-Americans. It’s a lovely name that means “healthy and strong” but it’s also forever associated with the notions of romantic love.

Gwen Stefani and British grunge musician Gavin Rossdale have two sons. Kingston James McGregor Rossdale was born in 2006 and in 2008 they named their second son Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale. Since Gwen is a pretty influential trend-setter among her fans, we were not surprised to see her almost single-handedly impact the usage of the name Kingston across America. However, new parents have yet to catch onto the whacky name Zuma Nesta and we can’t exactly blame them. A kid named Zuma Nesta running around some privileged private school in Hollywood probably flies. But can you picture a Zuma Nesta in, say, Topeka, Kansas? We think not.

Reese Witherspoon married Ryan Phillippe when she was only 23 years old (but she was the mature kind of 23 not typical for the young Hollywood starlets of today). Together Reese and Ryan had two children, a daughter Ava Elizabeth Phillippe (b. 1999) and a son Deacon Reese Phillippe (b. 2003). The Ï‹ber-celebrity couple divorced after seven years of marriage. In 2011 Reese remarried a talent agent named Jim Toth and the new pair welcomed baby boy Tennessee James Toth on September 27, 2012. So far Reese has a pretty good track record when it comes to baby name selections. Ava was barely on anyone’s radar back in 1999 when she used it for her daughter; today Ava is the 5th most popular girl’s name in America. Deacon showed up on the U.S. male naming charts for the first time in 2004; no coincidence this was right after Reese chose the name for her baby boy. What about Tennessee? We’ll have to “Waitandsee”. She’s certainly a naming trend-setter, although one gets the sense that Reese just has a style that’s all her own.

Madonna has a total of four children. Two are biological by two different fathers and two were adopted at separate times from the African country of Malawi. First born is daughter Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon (b. October 14, 1996), whose father is Madonna’s former boyfriend, a Cuban actor and personal trainer named Carlos Leon. They were never married. Almost four years later Madonna hooked up with British director Guy Richie and together they had Rocco Ritchie (b. August 11, 2000). Later mom and dad married and then divorced. While still with Richie, though, Madonna adopted her first baby David Banda Mwale Ciccone Ritchie in 2006. After their divorce, Madonna went back to Malawi and adopted a daughter she calls Mercy James. Of course all of her children’s names, like her own, are seeped in religious significance. Lourdes (who is nicknamed Lola) is in reference to Our Lady of Lourdes at the village of Lourdes, France where the Blessed Virgin Mother appeared before a fourteen year old girl in 1858 (today it is a pilgrimage destination for Catholics and a place of purported miraculous healings). Rocco is a name that means “rest” and was famously borne by a 14th century French saint. His mother was barren but after praying to the Virgin Mary for a child, she conceived Rocco (perhaps Rocco Richie’s 42 year old mother also made similar prayers?). David is probably the most important of all the kings of Israel and the one who defeated Goliath. Finally, Mercy is an obvious religious virtue name meaning “rewards”.

If you don’t know the names of Gwyneth Paltrow’s kids then we suspect you’ve been living under a rock. Paltrow is in one of those superstar celebrity marriages since her husband is British rocker Chris Martin (with the band Coldplay). This girl can act, and that guy can sing…but naming babies? Um, not so much. After releasing the name of their first child, a daughter Apple Blythe Alison Martin (b. May 2004), the couple was subjected to much mockery and ridicule. Paltrow tried to explain herself on Oprah: “It sounded so sweet and it conjured such a lovely picture for me – you know, apples are so sweet and they’re wholesome and it’s biblical – and I just thought it sounded so lovely and … clean! And I just thought, ‘Perfect!'” Sounds a little defensive, but ok. Their second kid arrived in April 2006, a son who they named Moses Bruce Anthony Martin (after a song Martin wrote for Paltrow called “Moses”). Look, we get it. Her daughter is the “Apple” of her eye, but this one is going down in the annals of Hollywood baby naming lore.