We cannot find any historically significant people with the first name Sheila.

We cannot find any historically significant people with the first name Robin.

We cannot find any historically significant people with the first name Robin.

We cannot find any historically significant people with the first name Robin.

We cannot find any historically significant people with the first name Doris.

Dan was the fifth born son of Jacob by Rachel’s slave-girl Bilhah. After Leah bore Jacob his first four sons (Rueben, Simeon, Levi and Judah), Rachel got jealous because she was barren (this is why her handmaiden stepped in for her). When Bilhah bore Dan, Rachel said: “God has pronounced judgment in my favor, for he has heard my prayer and given me a son.” Therefore she named him Dan (Genesis 30:6). Bilhah’s second son was called Naphthali by Rachel. Not to be outdone by her sister, Leah’s servant-girl Zelpha followed with Gad and Asher. Then Leah bore two more sons, Issachar and Zabulon. The last two sons were Joseph and Benjamin (God finally made Rachel fruitful, and her two sons were Jacob’s favorites). So where exactly is Dan’s place among the Twelve. Well, we know from Jacob’s blessings upon his sons (Genesis 49) that “Dan shall achieve justice for his people” but he also refers to Dan as a “serpent” and a “viper”. The Tribe of Dan was partially located along the Mediterranean Sea north of the Philistines (they were the only Israelites referred to as “seafaring” people). In the 8th century B.C. the Tribe of Dan was “lost”, along with nine other tribes (known as the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel) after Assyria conquered the Kingdom of Israel (either they assimilated, were exiled or they themselves fled – no definitive historic record is left). Only the Tribes of Judah, Benjamin and Levi are said to be the ancestors of all modern Jews. Incidentally, the most well-known Danite (i.e., descendant of Dan) in the Bible was Samson.

Daniel is most known for his steadfast faithfulness to God despite the many pressures of being held captive in Babylon. Indeed, he was a man who lived up to the etymology of his name “God is my judge” (and my only judge). Many colorful stories surround Daniel in the Biblical Book bearing his name. His knack for interpreting dreams won him high positions in the royal courts of Babylon (although he never cared about such favors – his only allegiance was to God). In fact, his ability to correctly interpret dreams convinced Nebuchadnezzar II in the existence of Yahweh. In his later years, Daniel is famous for interpreting the meaning behind the “handwriting on the wall”, words which suddenly appeared on the palace walls during a feast hosted by the then-current Babylonian ruler Belshazzar. A dismembered hand, a relic from the fallen Temple, wrote these words: “Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin” (Number, Number, Weight, Divide), indicating that Belshazzar’s days were numbered, his rule had been weighed and found lacking, and his kingdom would be divided by the Persians. This is precisely what happened. Thanks to God, Daniel was always spot-on.

Brunhilda was a Visigothic princess who married a Frankish king (the Visigoths and the Franks were both Germanic tribes, although distinctly different). Her father had been a Visigothic king of Hispania after the Visigoth’s conquered and occupied the Iberian Peninsula following the destruction of the Roman Empire. Brunhilda’s Frankish husband, Sigebert I (grandson of Clovis I), ruled over the kingdoms of Austrasia and Burgundy (representing much of the middle section of continental Europe). According to legend, Sigebert I wanted a morally upright and highly educated wife, unlike the apparent low-born whores his other brothers wed. Enter Princess Brunhilda with her high-brow Visigothic education and her royal birth. One of Sigebert’s envious brothers, King Chilperic of Neustria (present day France), promptly sent for Brunhilda’s sister in Spain, Princess Galswintha, to be his wife. Soon though, Chilperic tired of the morally righteous Galswintha (who denied him his prostitutes and concubines), and a plan was hatched to have his innocent wife killed by his mistress Fredegund (shortly thereafter Chilperic and Fredegund were married). Brunhilda was outraged by the murder of her sister and made it her life’s mission to antagonize her brother-in-law and his murderous wife, pushing her husband into battle with Chilperic (resulting in Sigebert’s eventually death). In the name of her son, her grand-sons and her great-grand son, Brunhilda was constantly jockeying for power and always at war with Chilperic and Fredegund. At first, she demonstrated deft political and administrative acumen over “her” kingdom, but eventually the realities of the circumstances turned her into a violent, ruthless woman, hell-bent on revenge every which way but up. It was said she was responsible for the death of 10 Frankish kings through her various provocations. As she was nearing 70 years of age, the kingdoms of Austrasia and Neustria were united by Clotaire II (Chilperic’s son by Fredegund) who ordered the brutal execution of his aunt (she was dragged from horses and torn apart limb from limb). This was the Dark Ages, after all. Brunhilda may have been a shit-stirrer and a bitch-on-wheels, but trust us when we say – that was the only way a Queen among enemies could survive.

Mary Todd Lincoln was the wife of perhaps the most beloved president in American history, Abraham Lincoln, and served as first lady of the land from 1861 until his assassination in 1865. He was beloved – she was not. Poor Mary’s reputation has suffered as much since her death as before. Maligned as a vain clotheshorse, a spendthrift, and a neurotically selfish woman, she is often depicted as a scourge of the sainted Abe, responsible for just about every ill he suffered short of the assassination. The truth, of course, lies closer to a mundane, albeit crushing, reality. Mary Todd was born into a rich Kentucky family and was educated accordingly. Her marriage to Lincoln was seen by her family as a social faux-pas, but she stubbornly stood by him and relinquished her strong Southern roots in favor of supporting him through the Civil War. As a mother, she had the unenviable fate of outliving three of her four sons. Son “Eddie” died at the age of four of tuberculosis; “Willie” died of typhoid fever at the age of twelve; “Tad” died (probably of pneumonia) at the age of eighteen. Only Robert outlived her, and he had her declared incompetent and confined to a mental institution. As a wife, she suffered the trauma of having her husband violently killed right beside her. As a woman in general, she was a victim of various ailments, including depression and the dreaded migraine headaches that afflicted her for years. She even attempted suicide at one point. Mary spent her final years in the home of her sister, as her health grew steadily worse. She died at age sixty-three.

Mary Magdalene has the distinction of being the second-most well-known woman in the New Testament, after, of course, Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ. She is honored as a saint by many Christian denominations. Because of the proliferation of the use of the name “Mary” in the New Testament, Mary Magdalene got the probably erroneous reputation early on of being a “bad” girl. This portrayal was furthered by early church fathers and emphasized by religious art over the centuries. There is, in fact, no evidence to associate her with the woman Mary who was the acknowledged sinner, but the confusion took hold and actually seems to have imbued her with a certain sympathetic identity. Who needs another saint, anyway? In the Gospels, Mary Magdalene is credited with three pretty big events: she witnesses the crucifixion of Jesus, his burial, and then the empty tomb from which Jesus rose after three days. These are solemn occasions, and they are unconnected to the stories of the woman from whom seven demons were exorcised, the woman who anointed the feet of Jesus, or the woman who dried her own tears with her sensuous long red hair. Contemporary Gnostic accounts go so far as to depict her as Jesus’ most beloved apostle who is called upon to spread his word, thus sparking an outrage of jealousy from the Apostles, particularly Peter. Who knows where legend ends and lies begin? Whatever her own truth, Mary Magdalene lives on today in a special aura, and we welcome the solicitude of one who was, perhaps, just like the rest of us – flawed and yet – ever striving.